Self-Love Practices

Why self-love? As we approach Valentine’s Day there will be a lot of talk about love. How about offering some of that love to the one person you are guaranteed to live with the rest of your life… you! The more love you offer yourself, the better you will feel and the more you will have to give to others.

These self-love practices will help boost your well-being:

Give Yourself Comfort

Giving ourselves comfort is often the first strategy we think of when we hear the phrase self-love. Whether your idea of comfort is a manicure, a Netflix movie, or an edible treat, offering yourself comfort is a great way to practice self-love. But, it is important to point out the difference between comfort and numbing. Author, Brene Brown says, “Comfort leaves you feeling replenished, numbing leaves you feeling guilty.”

Ideas for giving yourself comfort:

Indulge your senses- make (or order) your favorite dish, take a hot bath, use essential oils, relax in a cozy blanket, take a breather and take in a sunset. Another way to tune into your senses is with nature therapy. See our upcoming public nature therapy walks or book a private walk.
Give yourself a spruce up- when we look better, we sometimes feel better. Get a haircut, visit the nail salon, buy yourself a new item for your wardrobe.
Do nothing- we are so often so busy that we forget the value of rest and stillness. Rest, without scrolling social media, or having the TV on.
Make a “win list”- Win lists are somthing I learned from author, Tama Kieves. What have you done that you’re proud of? What is going well or moving in the right direction? Writing out what is going well will help improve your gratitude and shift to a more positive perspective.

Boost Your Health- Give your body some love

There is no doubt that taking care of our health is an act of self-love. What one small step or change can you make to boost your health? Maybe, make that doctor appointment you’ve been putting off. Or skip that second, or third cookie or cup of coffee. Another idea is to walk 5 minutes a day. Small changes will not only improve your health. The act of valuing yourself enough to take care of your health will have its own positive effect.

Feel Your Feelings- Sometimes discomfort equals self-love

This may seem counter-intuitive, but allowing yourself to feel unpleasant feelings is an act of self-love. It may not feel like it, but it is. When we deny or run from feelings like sadness, anger, and grief we do ourselves a disservice. Often we do this by distraction or negative habits. This helps us avoid the pain for the moment, but it also disconnects us from all of our emotions. We can’t disconnect from the painful emotions without also disconnecting from our potential for joy, peace, and growth.

And no matter how hard we run, the pain is always still there. It sits just below the surface causing seemingly unrelated irritability, exhaustion, or unhappiness. And then it is prone to resurface at the most unexpected or inconvenient times. That car that looks like your ex’s cuts you off and you lose it, or a song comes on that brings to mind a loss and you find yourself in the office bathroom trying to wipe away your tears.

Give yourself the gift of acknowledging and feeling your pain. It may even benefit you to dive into it. Writing is particularly effective at helping us heal emotional wounds. You can journal your feelings. Writing about things in the third person can help, too. Write the story as if it happened to someone else. Writing letters (and not sending them) can be really cathartic as well. James W. Pennebaker, author of “Writing to Heal: A guided journal for recovering from trauma & emotional upheaval” found in his research that writing about the same incident for fifteen minutes a day for four days often helps to transform our feelings about a painful event.

Challenge Yourself- Love yourself enough to take a risk

Part of loving yourself is sometimes pushing yourself to take a risk. If your best friend or child had something they really wanted to do, but was afraid to, you’d encourage them. Give yourself this same gift. Do you want to go back to school? Or, maybe move towards your dream job? Or, maybe tell your significant other that you love them?

Love yourself enough to not be confined by your perceived limits. Go for it! Even if it is just a tiny step, take a step. It may give you the motivation to take another, and then another. You deserve to at least try to have and do the things you really want. Even if you don’t succeed, you’ll be spared the regret of not trying.

Take Time to Play & Laugh

It’s been said that laughter is the best medicine. Taking time to laugh and play will boost your mood. It will even help you to be more creative and productive. Of course, you can take in a funny show or movie. But consider these other ways to laugh and play, too:

Learn from a master! Spend time with a child, they are masters at play and laughter. Pets can be great for teaching us to play, too.
Play with creativity. Don’t try to make stellar art, just play at being creative. Experiment with a new recipe. Paint or draw without putting pressure on yourself. Try something fun or funky with your look. Just doing something you don’t usually do will help you feel playful.
Bring out the games! Board games, even card games can be a great way to play while connecting us to those we play with.

As they say, “You get what you give.” Expressing our love for others makes us feel good. And, it makes them more likely to express their love for us. Don’t just think of romantic love here. Send your best friend or favorite aunt a card just to say you love them. Catch your kid doing something good or just tell them how much you love who they are. Do something special for your partner. You can even show love for your favorite places- pick up garbage at your favorite park or beach or spruce up your favorite corner of the house or yard.

Make self-love a daily practice

As you make self-love a regular practice it will help you to feel better and live better. By valuing yourself you will be more authentic, make choices that reflect your truest desires and values, and have more to give to those you care about.