“Keep the faith.” Cultivating hope and optimism is a key factor in resiliency. Thankfully, it can be done whether you are religious or not. While the word “faith” understandably makes people think of religion, the spiritual, and even the agnostic or atheist can still make use of this. There are other ways of looking at keeping the faith. Perhaps the simplest way of looking at it is being hopeful about your strengths and abilities. Or, having confidence in your ability to cope with life’s difficulties. We can cultivate faith regardless of whether we think that ability comes from a higher power, or from within.
While I do consider myself a spiritual person, my spirituality does not consist of the belief that Spirit (the Divine, God, or the Universe) will shield me from difficult circumstances. Rather, I believe that I will be given the ability to go through and grow through whatever happens. This belief is a great source of strength. And, when I lose sight of this is when I feel most overwhelmed, sad, and anxious.
Whether your difficulty is a hugely traumatic event or years of events, or just a stressful week where everything seems to go wrong. There are times that we all feel we won’t make it through. We don’t need to shame ourselves for feeling this way. It is a natural feeling, but feelings aren’t facts. In moments of stress and grief they seem to be, but keeping the faith is all about seeing beyond the way we feel in the moment.
Here are some ways that you can help keep the faith:
Remind yourself that resiliency is the norm.
Research by George Bonanno at the Loss, Trauma and Emotion Lab at Columbia University shows that most people ultimately cope well and adapt to adversity. One of his studies (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26343597/) found that 68% of people who lose a spouse or child ultimately are able to cope with that loss. It makes sense that smaller losses and difficulties would have an even better recovery rate.
Get creative.
First, before we can find hope, we often need to find a way to express our feelings. Let me be clear. You don’t have to be an artist for art to be good for you! It isn’t about creating something beautiful. It is about getting out your feelings- fully and uncensored. Write, draw, paint, sing, rap, it doesn’t matter. Just let out your feelings.
Look at your track record.
It sounds trite, but it’s true that you’ve survived 100% of your difficulties, so far. Often when you’re going through something difficult, it helps to look back at similar and more intense difficulties that you’ve been through. This may also help you to find ways to cope successfully with your current situation. For everyday stressors, you may want to do your own experiment. For a few weeks, write down your worries each day. Then look back at your lists from the previous week. You will notice that most of your worries have been resolved or diminished by the following week.
Find inspiration in others.
Another way of supporting a hopeful outlook is to find inspiration in the world around you. I find it helpful to read, watch, or listen to stories about how others have gotten through difficult times. There are endless choices of people to choose from: celebrities, historical figures, people you know. You can also find inspiration in the more-than-human-world. Find a flower growing out of a sidewalk crack, a tree that has been struck by lightning, but still survives, or a dog with a missing limb, who still happily moves about. A great inspirational TEDx talk can be seen in Derek Clark’s story at https://youtu.be/trcYKxj48HA.
Helping Others
Helping others is helpful in retaining hope, but it is even helpful when we feel like we’ve lost it. After all, we are likely to find that although we may not feel like it, we have a lot to offer. And like the man who felt badly because he had no shoes, until he saw the man with no feet, we are likely to find gratitude by seeing people who are going through things more difficult than our own situation.
In summary
Keeping the faith is a source of strength that doesn’t require any specific religious belief. It doesn’t even require that we have any spiritual belief at all. After we fully acknowledge and express our feelings, we can find there are sources of hope everywhere: in the world around us, in our own past, and in our ability to help others.
